Maybe You Should Ask the Dog-M.W. Masiga

“Ma’am is this your dog?”
“No. Yes?”
“Is that a no or a yes?”
“I can honestly tell you, I didn’t think anybody else could see it.”
“Right. What is your name ma’am?”
“Teddy Baer.”
“Your name is…”
“Yes. My parents thought it would be funny. I didn’t have the same experience.”
“Can I ask you…?”
“And this dog? It’s been following me for a while. It always seems to find me.”
“Okay.”
“I thought it was a hallucination at first. You know? I’m not having the best day. Just found out I
have a touch of the schizophrenia.”
“Oh.”
“And I’m stuck in a time loop.”
“What?”
“I know what you’re thinking. How can these two things be mutually exclusive, but they are.
They just are.”
“Can I ask what your purpose is at the bank today?”
“Well, I came to rob it. The first and fifth time.”
“What?”
“Can’t afford being crazy.”
“Alright. Teddy, do you need me to call someone for you?”
“Your eyes say you don’t believe me, and your tone suggests you think I’m crazy. Obviously, I
am the latter but just once I’d like you to say ‘Teddy, how do we fix this?’”

“How do we um, fix this, Teddy?”
“Seems a little forced now. Besides, it’ll soon be over.”
“What?”
“An actual robber shoots us all. The bastard even kills the dog. And I’m the crazy one?”
“This has gone far enough. I’m calling the police.”
“Won’t help. You’re never on time.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
“Okay. You know what’s strange? I’m always lost in the first few minutes…aaand there he is.
Bye.”

“Ma’am, I asked if this is your dog.”
“Didn’t we just have this conversation?”
“Actually, you’ve been standing there talking to yourself for five minutes.”
“Bollocks!”

 

M.W. Masiga

 

M.W. Masiga is an upcoming writer and graduate of Psychology from the University of Manitoba. When she’s not giving her cat Twain a hard time about his eating habits, she’s busy reading about worlds and people that make her laugh or make her cry then creating some of her own. Her short story Inside Out: GET ME OUT OF HERE was published in the University of Manitoba Arts Tribune, winter 2016 edition.

“I have hope, inside is not a heart but a kaleidoscope” ~ Sara Bareilles

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